The obsessive desire to possess is a critical defect whether in a ruler or in the people.
For a leader who lacks understanding is a great oppressor of the poor.
Proverbs 28:16
At the heart of idolatry is covetousness (Eph. 5:3). An inordinate desire to possess and control is at the root of our refusal to submit ourselves to God in trust and obedience. When Nathan the prophet went to David after he had gone into Bathsheba, David asked for mercy and to be washed thoroughly from his iniquity. David continues in verse 6 to say, ‘Behold You desire truth in the inward parts.’
What is sin?
Sin is primarily a matter of attitude, and this must be dealt with before the problem of wrong actions can be resolved (Psalm 51). In dealing with sin it is important to know what sin is. If asked to define sin, people will come up with many different definitions as to what sin is–usually the things that the individual does not like. One of the most common definitions of sin is missing the mark—a failure to live up to an expected standard. The problem with this definition is that it fails to take into account that when the mark is missed, something is hit.
Another definition of sin is found in 1John 3:4, “sin is lawlessness.” Put simply according to this verse, sin is anything that is contrary to what the Word of God commands or forbids. This definition, however, does not take into account those things about which the Word of God is silent. The best definition for sin is found in 1John 5:7, “All unrighteousness is sin.”
Deeds Reflect Character Within
Prov. 20:11
Both my brothers are verbally abusive. Verbal abuse will usually escalate, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. As verbal abuse escalates toward physical abuse, the abuser begins moving into the individuals space. One example of this had to do with Jim blocking my storage shed for more than six long years.
Gingers storage shed 2008. Vehicles to the left and right of shed are Jim’s. Nothing is blocking entrance to the door of the shed.
2009, Jim deliberately blocking doorway with his 2nd truck, preventing me from being able to back up to the door for ‘easy’ loading and unloading.
2009-2011
Below 2011 Jim’s Chevy truck is moved from here. . .
to here, 2011. . .
. . .to here, 2012 – 2018
I would attempt to solicit Jim’s friends, or one of our cousins, to ask Jim to move his trucks. Instead of moving his vehicles, Jim would retaliate, barricading my shed with scrap materials laid up against all four sides of the shed AND roof (as seen in last photo). This specific abuse continued for a total of 6 years; from 2009 – 2015
What Sin Does
Sin, regardless of its degree, always has an effect–separation. Sin separates one from God. This separation from God is death. Adam was told that if he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that he would die (Gen 3:3). Adam ate of the tree and immediately died spiritually–his soul was separated from God–and he began to die physically. The entrance of sin into the human race brought with it death (Rom 5:12; 6:23). That man is a sinner is proven by the fact that he dies–where there is death, there is sin. Sin’s penalty, death, can be remedied by life–union with God. Sin in the believer’s life is a terrible thing and is not to be tolerated. While it is probable that the believer will sin, it is never necessary for him to do so (1John 2:1).
What should be done about sin?
The believer should never condone or attempt to excuse his sin. Just as sin has an effect of separation from God, it also, separates us from one another. Thus, the only remedy for restored relationship with God and others is to confess sin and forsake it. But since sin is primarily a matter of attitude, this must be dealt with before the problem of wrong actions can be resolved. Otherwise, wrong actions will continue to manifest taking on a variety of forms as seen with the blocking of my shed.
Attitudes of Covetousness, Hatred, & Greed
Covetousness is having or showing a great desire to possess something, typically something belonging to someone else. Jim would refuse me from being able to take up residence in a home that rightly was mine by inheritance, stating in an email that nothing is mine until mom dies. He would then turn around and give my home to my brother Dennis and his wife after they had lost theirs in a fire, despite the fact, that temporary accommodations were provided them until they could rebuild. When Dennis and Deborah moved out, Jim would again deny me the right to live in the home, and he would turn around and give it to another.
Another time I asked Jim for my fathers barn. One week had passed and he still had not given me an answer. Later I saw him and Sue pulling out of the driveway in Sue’s motor home. I got on the phone and called him right then and asked him again. He said he’d let me know when he got back in four months. I mentioned it to one of the leaders in my church about it, he said Jim should have given me an answer three days after making the request for the barn, four at the most. If his answer was ‘no’, he needed to give a good reason why. Jim was really good at killing others dreams and desires, and crushing ones hopes. Because Jim left me hanging indefinitely, my desires to have and preserve a fond memory of my Dad died.
These kinds of attitudes of covetousness, hatred and greed would be the norm of what I would have to endure from both my brothers. From denying me my own furniture that mom was keeping for me, to refusing anything of my mothers belongings after she passed; items that only a daughter would appreciate. Jim would also collect the rent money from my home even up to one year after my mothers death. Did he use that money to repair the enormous damages done to the house by the renters? No. Renters that he was responsible for putting in my home and to which he was intimately involved with (according to Desairee). Instead, he pocketed the money for himself. The list of hatred, greed, covetousness would be endless, and continues to this present day. All of it corrupt.
Those in power and position, if they are greedy, have the power to grab anything they want, and ordinary citizens are helpless. In II Samuel 12 is an account of the kind of brutal acts that can bring trouble down on ones household. We have a rich man’s callous disregard for a poor man’s rights. There is a wealthy man with large flocks, barns and storehouses; in contrast, a poor man with only one possession. Now the rich man refrained from taking his own; instead, he took that which belonged to the poor man.
David did not hesitate planning the ‘removal’ of Uriah. He sent Uriah out. Another took part in Davids’s cover up showing himself to be ruthless. David acted in a very high-handed fashion, abusing his power and position.
Not only had David brazenly violated God’s laws, but worse, he had shamelessly abused his power which the Lord had entrusted to him. The thing David had done displeased the Lord. David would be held directly responsible for the tragedy that fell upon Uriah even though it was in battle.
Like David, Jim did not hesitate planning my removal from the farm, and now he was going to keep me off it. My brother Dennis showing himself ruthless when he took part in the cover up of Jim’s physical abuse on me. By doing so, his actions would condemn our mother to another three years of separation from her loved ones; myself and her beloved grandchildren.
As God would hold David directly responsible for the tragedy that fell upon Uriah, He will hold my brothers responsible for more then ten years of treachery towards me, my kids, and my mom. As Jim denies me and our mother each others company, I would hear the spirit of the Lord say, ‘I will deny Jim his loved ones.’ Some time after journaling that word from the Lord, I would hear news that Jim’s wife Susan had packed up and moved out. Years later a friend of Susan’s shared the horrible psychological damage she suffered from Jim’s abuses during that time. Years later in 2020 Jim’s son would deny him visits as he lost control of his temper and scared his granddaughter.
Paraphrasing 1 John 3:10-12 says, In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother (or sister). For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, NOT as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his siblings righteous.
Gluttons for Power Over Others
As is often in the book of Psalms, “poor” characterizes not necessarily one who has no possessions, but one who is (and recognizes that he or she is) without resources to effect his own deliverance, or secure his own life, safety or well being. They are Gods people who are the victims of injustice by evil doers.
Proverbs 27:4 says, ‘wrath is cruel and anger a torrent, but who is able to stand before jealousy?’ As Cain’s hatred of his brother Able, so are my brothers hatred of me. The obsessive desire to possess is a critical defect whether in a ruler or in the people. Proverbs 28:16 states that, a ruler who lacks understanding is a great oppressor. What are those biblical disciplines that will help to curb those desires that cause one to move from leadership to dictatorship? One must have the courage to re-examine ones desires for leadership – this might have to start in the determined control of our appetites – including, ones desire for power over others.
Over a period of 2 years I would recommend to both Jim and Dennis for us to sit down together with a counselor. Despite my three recommendations for Christian counselors, Jim refused to meet with me to discuss any of the incidences mentioned in these articles. Jim remains hostile to this day, while both remain unrepentant of 12 years of their cruel and treacherous actions toward me.
Patricia Evans, author of many books regarding the abuser asserts, if the abuser continues to deny the abuse, then his denial locks him into a more-or-less permanent psychological stance. The abuser who denies all is unwilling to discuss the issue; the abuse. He does not want to change. In order to change he would have to break through his denial, admit to the abuse, and work through the issues which left him with such a great need for dominance and Power Over.
Every man must face the choices he makes, deep inside we all know what is right.
We keep changing the truth to fit the license we take.
To sin and hope it won’t reach God’s eyes.
We’re almost at an end of the warnings, soon we won’t know day from night.
There’s less and less notice of the beauty of the morning,
replaced by the fear of the night.
(Song writer Don Potter)
