A fool rages and is self-confident.
He who is impulsive exalts folly.
Proverbs 14:16, 29
OCPD – Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is a type of mental disorder in which the individual has a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behavior. This person has trouble perceiving and relating to situations and to people. This causes significant problems and limitations in relationships, social encounters, work and school.
Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking and/or behavior. It’s not necessary to exhibit all the signs and symptoms listed for a disorder to be diagnosed, but my brother Jim Fife has all of the symptoms described in this list.
Antisocial personality disorder
- Disregard for others’ needs or feelings
- Persistent lying, stealing, conning others
- Repeated violation of the rights of others
- Aggressive, often violent behavior
- Disregard for the safety of others
- Impulsive behavior
- Consistently irresponsible
- Lack of remorse for behavior
The hostility stemming from Jim’s free-floating anger has nothing to do with me, but it does affect me deeply. I feel emotional pain when Jim is angry and hostile. Signs of abusive anger are a lack of warmth as well as all verbal abuse; shouting, yelling, raging, explosiveness, and sarcasm. I remember one time, after just arriving to my mom’s house for a visit, waiting for someone to come to the front door. Jim was expecting me, yet, he was hostile and yelling at me right out of the gate. He held the screen door with his left hand, chest high to me. Aware of his military combative stance, as he kept making small steps toward me, I would step back. He continued yelling and when he was positioned in just the right reach of me, he took his fist (while holding the screen door) and slugged me hard in the chest. Immediately following that deliberate punch to my chest came a disdainful and sarcastic remark, “S-O-R-R-R-Y-Y-Y!!!”
Pretending that the screen door flew out of his hand and hit me would be the tale he would spin, but the pain in my chest from his fist was extreme which could not be denied. He deliberately meant to punch me, using the screen door to disguise his assault. His malice concealed by deception was staged for the witness just inside my mom’s living room. My daughter was sitting in my truck also witnessed the whole thing, plus, it was caught on tape. Jim’s anger was irrational.
Another time upon arriving to visit I walked in and went directly to my mother’s side where she lay on the sofa. She was elated to see me. A friend of the families who was with me took the following pictures upon our arrival.
After denied months of visits the expression on my mothers face upon recognizing that it was me; Complete and utter joy. . .
Minutes after these photos were captured Jim would enter the room yelling, causing trouble, saying he had called the Sheriff and for us to leave. As usual was his nature and character, he would fabricate a story. This time he told the Sheriff that he was taking care of his mother and that he was mom’s executor, and that I was trespassing on his land and causing problems. He made it sound as if this was his home, his land, and that he was caring for his mother, as if he brought her here to his home to care for her!
In truth Jim had not worked for the past 25 years at that time, ever since the Marines passed him over for promotion, at which time he’d walk away before his 20 years was up, a foolish move to say the least. He’d been living off our mother since that time because he couldn’t provide for himself out in the world on the income he received. Jim had managed to seize control of the family farm and our mothers affairs through fraud.
What did the Sheriff do? They made me leave the property.
Another time I had just arrived when Jim was hostile and I had to leave without seeing my mom, or knowing if she was even safe. Jim actually got away with this for over four long years. Being denied visits with each other during those years was sheer agony for both myself and my mom.
A year after her death a caregiver of mom’s had located me and stopped by to visit. The caregiver talked about how my mom lived in constant fear and trembling around Jim. Then I pulled out the photo above and showed it to her. The caregiver gasped in surprise when she saw the photos of me with my mom, then stated, “Your mom never had a smile. She only trembled in fear whenever Jim stepped into the room.” This was the third caregiver in two years who shared with me about how my mom was being abused by Jim. She also shared that she reported Jim for Elder Abuse, but nothing ever came of it.
Any time the Sheriffs were called (usually by me), Jim always made a point of getting to them first to spin his web of lies. The Sheriffs never bothered to hear what I had to say once Jim talked to them, even though I was the one who called them. He was a cunning and crafty individual to say the least, again, part of the his personality disorder.
Those photos are quite dear to my heart, because it was one of the last times I would see my mom. The following visit one week later Jim would falsely accuse me of causing trouble and had me arrested. I could no longer afford the fees to get bailed out of jail and after his threat saying how he enjoys this part of my visits (having me arrested), I knew it was hopeless. He would never allow me to see my mom again after that day. My mom would become a prisoner in her own home for the next three years while my brother Dennis and his wife stood by and allowed it.
Abuse is any behavior where one human being deliberately inflicts physical and emotional pain in an effort to harm a helpless and unwilling victim. It is a disregard of one’s self by a person who disregards boundaries in a sometimes relentless pursuit for Power Over, superiority, and dominance by covert or overt means. There is no real way to have a productive argument with my brother, because one is not really arguing with the person, you’re arguing with his addiction, his need for Power Over. It was at this time I realized that a Dictator had now arisen out of this poor, humble family that came to this country for a better life. I asked why? How did this happen? The answer is found in Romans 1:18-31.
The scripture speaks of mans fall. In Romans 1:18-21, Paul says, The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Paul continues in verses 28-32; And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, are untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they continue on in this depraved life style.
Jodi Fife – The following is a description of Jim’s aggression, and often violent behavior toward his second wife, Jodi. Her statement reads as follows;
Twice in the past Jim has physically abused me. Once he dragged me down the hallway from the bedroom to the kitchen. He pushed me down to the floor and dragged me across the kitchen floor.
Another time; He became enraged when we were talking at the dinning room table and was yelling. He became violent and picked up a wooden chair and threw it at me. . .Tension is always high since I never know what will cause a verbal outburst of anger, criticism, or ridicule.
Jodi filed for a restraining order and got it. (Copy of court order describing Jim’s abuse on Jodi at bottom of page). Jim was made to leave the farm. Homeless and with no income to support himself he would travel across the states staying with friends along the way. He would return one year later. My mother would say to me that he had out stayed his welcome with his friends and that is what drove him back to his roots. Needing a place to live he would demand our mom to throw Jodi out. He told our mother that if she didn’t throw Jodi out, his death would be on her hands being that he had heart problems. I remember how grieved my mother was to have to ask Jodi to leave. She was in tears. She said to me, “Ginger, Jodi was so good to me.” “I didn’t want her to leave.”
That is how Jim was able to get back on the farm. He would live in our mothers home and forcefully take it over. In her final years, and very much in a fragile state, mom would become a prisoner in her own home. When Jim found out that mom was calling me he took her phone from her. She was never able to call me again after that time.
Jim has physically abused me three times. Twice he had butted himself up against me, looking and sounding out of control.
Shortly after arriving for a visit with my ailing mother, Jim would barge into the living room yelling. I stood up from my mothers side when Jim stepped into me and butted himself up against me. He continued yelling, then placing both his hands on my chest he shoved me with tremendous force. I went flying into the chair behind me. My lower back slammed hard into the arm of the chair. The force of the impact was so great it caused my body to tort backward over the arm. There was immediate pain and a burning sensation. When Sue (Jim’s third wife) got to the doorway of the living room she saw me on the floor. Jim motioned for her to get out. Sue turned around and walked away.
I sustained a deep tissue muscle injury that day, and would suffer with throbbing pain for twelve months. I 
filed a restraining order against Jim only to show up in court and find he had filed one against me! Jim would lie about the account of that day stating that I was the one yelling and causing trouble. But I wasn’t yelling, and I hadn’t caused any trouble. I simply entered my mothers home and immediately sat down beside my mom who was laying on the sofa.
Confused, overwhelmed and alone, with no attorney to defend me, I would withdraw and not return to the next hearing date. In fear of Jim herself, Sue (Jim’s wife at that time) would be silent about what really happened. She was as much afraid of Jim as I was. Jim would never be held accountable, nor was he ever made to take responsibility for anything up to and after that day. He would go as far as denying visits to my mom and I for the next three-an-a-half years- up until her death. Being denied each others company would crush both our spirits. Neither my mom or myself would recover from it. My mom would die of a broken heart. As for Sue, she would leave Jim shortly after this incident.
One year after my mothers death, much of what my mother left for me, and ALL that she left for my children, Jim would continue to deny us. From bonds my mom set aside for my children, my own furniture that mom intended for me to have, everything, taken. Even her personals that only a daughter could appreciate, all those little things that would bring fond memories of her, like my mothers Greek Orthodox Cross, or my mother’s wedding ring promised to Deanne, he denied us any of it.
The Rental – My Home
In 2009 my inherited home, then, known as my mom’s rental, would have new carpet laid and other work done on it. My brother Dennis and his wife moved into the home, and lived there for about two years. Upon moving out, the home should have been turned over to me to manage. Instead, I was kept in the dark when Dennis moved out and Jim would take control of the rental. I remember when I heard that he had rented it out, I said to myself, ‘you watch, he’s put someone in there who he knows will damage the place.’ And that is exactly what happened.
When Jim finally turned over my inherited home to me, it had been completely destroyed. One of the leaders from my church, upon seeing the condition of the home, would say it was only fit for barn animals to live in. The house smelled of urine as animals were penned in the hallway and the carpets were saturated with urine which penetrated the wood floors underneath. It would take four months, with every window in the house opened, before the smell finally dissipated. I was thankful it was summer, for if it had been winter the floors would have never dried out and the smell would be there to this day.
It would take three years trading free rent for the labor of two carpenters before the home would be made livable. During the first year the one carpenter would have no water to bathe. The second year the plumbing was addressed, and the floors were redone.
The bottom line was this, with intent to keep me off the family farm, Jim would deliberately deny me the right to live on our family farm for eight long years, from 2009 – 2017 by using aggressive, and often violent behavior, lying, stealing, conning others, and disregarding my needs due to his relentless pursuit for Power Over, superiority, and dominance using covert and overt means.
Lord, how long will the wicked triumph?
They break in pieces Your people, O Lord, and afflict Your heritage.
Psalm 94:3, 5
October 2018, In the last 15 months since living in my inherited home, I’ve seen God’s love for justice start to unfold before me. One example of this; as Jim denied my mom and I each others company, God has taken Jim’s loved ones from him; his son. Peter has stopped coming to see his dad because Jim is abusive. That has limited Jim’s access to his grandchildren.
Grandchildren are the only thing in life grandparents live for. To be denied or restricted visitations can be heart-rending and agonizing for many older people because the presence of grandchildren in our lives gives us joy and a sense of accomplishment. It fills areas of emptiness that elderly people experience because they no longer have any sense of purpose, they’re no longer feeling wanted or needed. Remove that one purpose or joy from our lives creates a void that no man can fill. God is NOT ONLY a God of justice, but says, HE LOVES JUSTICE; therefore, He cannot do anything contrary to His character. He says clearly, ‘what you sow, you shall reap.’ And so, what Jim did to the innocent individuals in this family, denying our mother, myself, and my daughter visits, Jim now reaps the same. This is God’s justice.
As for me, I only had to ‘stand and see the salvation of God’. That is what God said to the Israelites when Pharaoh and his men in chariots were in hot pursuit of the Israelites at the Red Sea. God said, ‘stand and see me deliver you’, He then opened the Red Sea and every Israelite crossed over on dry ground. Once they were all safe on the other side God released the waters of the Red Sea to come down upon the soldiers, and every soldier drowned.
As we put our hope and trust in Him, He is faithful and just to accomplish all things concerning us. And if justice is what is required, then again, God will accomplish what concerns His servants.
12 The wicked plots against the righteous
And gnashes at him with his teeth.
13 The Lord laughs at him,
For He sees his day is coming.
14 The wicked have drawn the sword and bent their bow
To cast down the afflicted and the needy,
To slay those who are upright in conduct.
15 Their sword will enter their own heart,
And their bows will be broken.
Psalm 37:12-15
See article; Dream – Mom Distressed, https://www.signsofverbalabuse.com/dream-mom-distressed-tearful/
Jodi Fife’s court ordered statement from Restraining Order #9720847:
Jim Fife resides at: 2785 Alton Lane, Santa Rosa, Ca 95404
